Sunday, May 11, 2014 it really better than one?!

Two shoes...better than one.  Two ears...better than one.  Two eyes...better than one.  Two cents...better than one.  Two it really better than one?!  I know it's horrible to say, but I have found myself asking this question for quite sometime.  Not just since we had our second child, but well before I ever contemplated having a second child.  

I have to be honest - I grew up always assuming and not putting much thought into the fact that I would grow up, get married and have two kids.  The complete and total cliche.  How much more generic can you get?!  What's really ironic about this all is that I grew up basically an only child.  I was raised by my grandparents and until I was 18 years old and my father had another child I was the only one.  I always hated being an only child - vacations were boring, car rides endless, weekends very quiet and lonely.  I think this life of being the only young one in a house made me subconsciously feel that I had to have two so the first one would never be lonely.  

Fast forward to 2011- we had one amazing almost two year old little girl, Blake, who kept us on our toes and kept our patience constantly being tested to max.  My husband kept bringing up it was time to start trying for another kid - if we were going to have two we better not wait.  I immediately panicked!  I felt I had just figured out how to manage one- why rock the boat?!  Did we really need another?  Could my body and my emotions handle the chance of going through postpartum depression again?  Could we afford it?  After nearly a year of pressuring me we finally jumped in and welcomed our sweet little boy Brooks into the world.  I have to say from the moment of his arrival my heart was his.

I have never for one second regretting having a second child - in fact I can't imagine my life without both of them - that being said - I have never in my life felt so out of control, exhausted, overworked, maxed out, worn thin.  Sleeping through the night is something that I firmly believe is only in fairy tales and not real life - taking baths is something only allowed on birthdays or mother's day - having down time to enjoy hobbies is something for once your kids go off to college - having time to exercise is a thing of the past - being able to make it through an entire week of work without having to leave early for a doctor's appt or after school activity for your child is a thing of the past.  It has made me question so many times - how do people do it?!  And those of you parents out there that have more than 3 - I commend you!  I would literally be in a loony bin!  I feel like I am grasping at every free moment like it's solid gold and instead of doing something in those moments I just want to sit and do absolutely nothing - nothing at all but be still and quiet.  

I do have to say though - I have full confidence that when it comes to raising more than one child - two sets of hands is definitely better than one.  I have faith things will get easier as they get older.  I wouldn't trade the moments of watching the two of them interact and play with each other for anything.  I will forever melt over the first time Blake met her baby brother Brooks and kissed him and was immediately enamored by him.  I can tell you this though - two day cares...not better than one.  Two college funds to contribute to...not better than one.  Two kids - I'll let you know! :)